You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison
by anneryn7
Summary: AU. Peter asks Clint if he can bring his boyfriend to movie night at Stark Tower. They're all shocked to find out that Wade is his new beau. The Avengers get protective and hilarity ensues. Spideypool oneshot. (4th installment in the My Spideypool Romance series)


**A/N: Here's next installment in the **_**My Spideypool Romance **_**series. Sorry y'all. This isn't totally Endgame compliant.**

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**I DO NOT OWN **_**DEADPOOL, SPIDERMAN, **_**OR ANY OTHER **_**MARVEL **_**CHARACTERS.  
****Music Inspiration/Song Suggestion: "You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison" – My Chemical Romance**

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**Background: Mysterio did not out Peter as Spiderman. Natasha didn't die. I can't bring myself to write something that she AND Tony aren't around for. It's bad enough that Tony is gone. Steve is still Cap. He came back and is still Captain America. Sorry, y'all. Blame my emotions.**

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Ever since MJ and Peter had their heart to heart, she has been around a lot more. She and Wade hit it off, just like Peter and Ned thought they would. It was great. A lot of her jokes were at Peter's expense, but they weren't malicious and Wade was always sure to defend his Baby Boy.

Having everyone together just felt right. Peter knew that the calm couldn't last. He had a sinking feeling that the rest of the Avengers would find out soon. He didn't know how they would take it, but he could imagine what their reactions might be. He knew it would be smarter to tell them, than to let them find out on their own.

* * *

The opportunity presented itself soon after Peter resolved to come clean with his teammates. Clint had invited him over for a movie night. It was something that they hadn't really done, since Tony passed. Movies were his thing. They weren't ready to carry on that tradition without him yet, but it felt like time. Maybe they could honor him this way and remember all of the good times and mourn together. They needed to keep living. This would be a start.

_'Can I bring my boyfriend? You know him.  
__-Peter'_

Peter texted Clint to find out if the intrusion would be a welcome one or if he would be overstepping. He didn't have to wait long for a response.

_'Why didn't I know about this? Clint said you have a boyfriend? I thought we were closer than that, Peter.  
__-Natasha'_

_'We'd be happy to meet him, Son.  
__-Steve'_

_'Of course you can! Be prepared. We're gonna grill this kid. We can't let just anyone hang out with our resident son.  
__-Clint'_

_'I'm not sure why I was included in this group text, but I'm sure we would all be happy to meet him, Peter.  
__-Bruce'_

Peter chuckled as he read everyone's response. He really wasn't surprised when Clint forwarded his question to the others and included them in a group text.

_'I had a feeling you were seeing someone. Tell him to be prepared for the shovel speech, kiddo.  
__-Bucky'_

_'Could you sound any older or ominous, Buck? It's fine, Peter. We're gonna order pizza. Come by whenever.  
__-Sam'_

_'I am happy to meet the man you are courting, my young arachnid friend. I will bring the finest Asgardian ale to celebrate your new mate.  
__-Thor, God of Thunder'_

Peter was snickering, when we saw how Thor had signed his name. He always does the most.

_'Great. Thanks! See you soon.  
__-Peter'_

He took a deep breath and dialed his boyfriend's number. He was sure that Wade wouldn't mind going, but he didn't want to blindside the man, either.

"Baby Boy! How are you today, my scrumptious little cupcake?" Wade asked, enthusiastically. The grin that spread across Peter's face was becoming a permanent fixture, when it came to talking with Wade.

"I wanted to invite you to a movie night at the Stark Tower. Clint invited the Avengers and I asked if I could bring my boyfriend. I figured it might be nice if they found out that we were dating from me." Peter admitted.

"Will Cap be there? Because, _**OH EM GEE**_, I might grab his ass, Petey-Pie. It doesn't mean I love you any less, but touching it in person has been a dream of mine, since before you were alive." Wade exclaimed. Peter just laughed.

"Yeah, okay. I kind of expected that. I don't care, but he might. I wouldn't be surprised if he threw his shield at you." Peter mused.

"It would be worth it, Baby Doll. What time do we need to be there? Can I meet you at your place?" Wade asked.

"Yeah, that would be nice. May works late, again, tonight. And I think she has a date with Happy afterwards. So that would be perfect." Peter admitted.

"You gonna keep me your dirty little secret forever, Baby Boy?" Wade teased. Peter gulped.

"I don't want to keep you a secret. I just didn't want to tell her, until I thought things were serious. I thought maybe after we told the rest of the team, that I could work up to telling her, if that's okay." Peter replied.

"You're serious about me, Sugar Lips?" Wade asked, quietly.

"Of course, I am." Peter promised.

"I'm serious about you, too, Baby. You don't even know how much. I love you more than '_The Golden Girls_.' I wasn't gonna tell ya, yet, but I kinda let it slip earlier. You don't need to say it back. I'll be there in a jiff! I can't wait to see that sweet ass of yours, Spidey-Babe." Wade hung up, before Peter could say anything else.

Wade loved him? Peter loved him, too. He just didn't know if he was ready to say it back yet. He's never had something this serious before. He wanted to take his time with Wade. Peter wanted to make damn sure he didn't fuck things up, by rushing into them.

He gnawed at his bottom lip and decided to wait. He would wait until the time felt right.

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Wade held his hand, as they stepped out of the elevator. He had on his soft mask today. Peter didn't push or pry. He knew that this was out of his comfort zone and wanted the older man to be as comfortable as possible. He was already doing Peter a favor just by coming.

"You ready for this, Baby Boy?" Wade asked him, as he slowed to a stop. Peter looked up at him and nodded. He stood on his tiptoes and rolled Wade's mask up to his nose and pressed his lips to Wade's, before he could protest. Wade's hand went behind Peter's head and held him still, so he could deepen the kiss. Peter nipped at his bottom lip, before pulling away. He fixed his boyfriend's mask and wrapped his arms around him.

"I appreciate you coming. It means a lot to me. I really care about you. It'll be nice, once everyone knows. You're not a secret. I'd never try to hide you. I like you, too much." Peter whispered. Wade's lips curved into a smile and Peter was still amazed that even his soft masks were just as expressive as the leather ones.

"I'd do anything for you, Peter." He promised.

"I would do anything for you, too." Peter admitted. "Let's get this over with." Peter dragged the mercenary along with him. They stepped into the living area and all the talking stopped. The others noticed Peter holding Wade's hand and gaped. Well, at least they weren't throwing any weapons.

"Wait. You're dating _**Deadpool**_?" Clint asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, this is Wade. He's my boyfriend. But I'm sure most of you have already met him before." Peter announced, lamely.

Bruce looked skeptical. Steve looked like he wanted to grill Wade and ask him a million questions about his intentions. Natasha looked downright lethal. Thor looked jovial, as always. Sam gave Wade the side-eye, like he was trying to figure out his angle. Bucky looked pensive, but checked Wade out, all the same. Clint looked like he was torn with feeling amused and irritated.

Well, so far this was going better than Peter expected.

"We've been friends for a little while. He, um, well, he helped me through my panic attacks after Mr. Stark... and after London, I wasn't coping well or really sleeping... Dr. Banner and Natasha know about that. We just _**fit**_. You know? It's crazy, because the more time I spend with Wade, the more I feel like Tony would've been infuriated by disregard for the rules, but he would've loved him, because of how much he loves me." Peter confessed.

Everyone's face morphed with a different emotion. No one looked angry anymore. Peter's eyes watered and he cursed himself for not being stronger. He swiped at his eyes and blinked the residual tears away.

"Son, I'm sure that Tony would've given him a chance, once he got over the fact that you're dating Deadpool and gave him several speeches about how no one was good enough to date you. Tony cared about you, so much. We all do. You're an adult. If you're happy and Wade doesn't cause any problems with SHIELD, then your relationship is fine with us." Steve was the first to speak up, after Peter's heartfelt admission.

"He's right, but if you hurt him, we will kill you. I know that you can come back and all that jazz. But there are a lot of us. We'll get creative." Sam threatened the merc.

"I appreciate the sentiment and I'm sure that Petey-Pie does, too. You love him and you want to protect him. So do I. We want the same thing, B-T-Dubs. If I hurt him, you have my permission to hurt me." Wade told them all. Natasha gave him a stiff nod, but didn't uncross her arms from her chest. "And I can't believe I'm actually meeting Captain America _**and**_ Thor. This is a dream come true. You're my fav superhero, after Spidey, of course. I love him more, but I've loved you longer, Cap. I can't tell you how long I've wanted to meet ya or touch America's ass." Wade gushed. Peter chuckled and soon most of the others followed suit.

"Are you propositioning me, Son?" Steve asked him, clearly amused. Wade gaped at him.

"Is it working? Baby Boy gave me permission to grab that ass, if you were okay with it. Oh Em Gee, I would die!" Wade was beside himself. Steve just smirked.

"Can we trust you to keep Peter's secret? He's the youngest Avenger, but he is one of the brightest. He has a good head on his shoulders, but that doesn't mean that he can't get taken advantage of." Bruce asked him, sternly.

"I would sooner give up myself, than Pete. He's great, ya know? Even when he's torn up and hurting, he still focuses on everyone else and makes sure they're alright and tries to protect people. He's the embodiment of sunshine and I know I don't deserve him, but I'm gonna try my best to make him happy. He's had the shit end of the stick and if I can make his life better in some way, I will. I'm gonna be around for as long as he wants me. He's my Prince Charming, ya know? He sure knows how to make a girl feel like the prettiest Disney princess." Wade assured him. Thor beamed and clapped a hand on Wade's back.

"I like you, Pool of Death. Come. You must tell me of your battle victories. I have brought with me ale from Asgard. We will drink and be merry. I am pleased that you make my young arachnid friend full of joy. Let us celebrate." Thor's voice boomed and left little room for argument.

* * *

"Are you really okay with this, Peter? I can take care of him, if you're not." Natasha asked him. Peter looked up at her and nodded.

"I love him. I haven't told him yet. I'm not ready to, but he's a good guy. Who would've thought that the most lethal mercenary would be so sweet?" Peter admitted. She gave him a wry smile and wrapped her arms around him. She made him feel safe. She really was like his Spider Mom.

"I do understand. And we will make a real effort with him. I don't want you to feel alone or isolated. You've made so much progress. I'm proud of you for keeping up with your therapy and working through your grief. We're stronger together and we need you around, Peter. It's good for the team and it's good for you. We love you. You're our family." Natasha gave him her word.

"I love you all, too. I'll be around more. I'm going to defer for a year, after graduation. I just need to get my head right. I think it'll help to be around everyone." Peter promised.

"Thank you for bringing Wade to meet us, Son." Steve said, as Natasha ended their embrace. Peter gave him a tentative smile.

"Of course, I want all the important people in my life to know each other and get along." Peter shrugged, not used to so much praise.

"We appreciate being included, Peter." Steve smiled. It was impossible not to grin in return.

"Cap, can I _**please**_ touch it? It's a national monument of hotness." Wade asked, walking behind them.

"If I let you, it's a one-time deal. You can't ask me again." Steve warned him. Wade gasped.

"Once is enough." Wade swooned.

"Go ahead." Steve gave the okay and Wade didn't hesitate to get two handfuls of the superhero's backside.

"God, it's so perfect that I could die! It's so, so good. Petey, it's almost as good as yours, Babe. _**Almost.**_ Thank you, so much, Cap! You're the bee's knees. The apple of my eye. The Super Dad to my sweetie pie." Wade sang with a wink, before letting the man go. Steve was blushing, but still looked amused. Peter was biting his lip to keep from laughing. "Bless your sweet soul, Captain Hot-pants. You're a god among men."

"I believe I am the only god in attendance here." Thor argued. Peter giggled and relaxed. Things were gonna be alright.

"Don't get too comfortable just yet, Wade. You're lucky that Peter is eighteen, otherwise we probably would have thrown you in jail." Clint warned. Wade just laughed, still hyped up from touching Captain America's perfect butt.

"Does that mean that you'd use handcuffs on me, Robin Hood? Ooh. Don't taunt me with a good time." Wade winked. "I don't want my sweetie to get jealous. You're _**super**_ hot. I mean, I have eyes, ya know? But I only have eyes for my Petey-Pie." Wade wrapped his arms around Peter and dropped a masked his on the top of his head.

"That's not what... You know, what? Nevermind. You liven things up around here and you seem to treat him right. So, you can stay. For now. But if you mess up, I'm gonna let the Hulk toss you around like a bean bag." Clint tried to be tough, but Peter could tell that Wade was wearing him down. He had a tendency to do that.

"You betcha, HawtGuy. I'm gonna mack on my honey now. You might wanna cover your eyes."


End file.
